okay, i didnt know what compounded me to write something so technical about the wonders of the world of Marvel because i am supposed to be very reflective and write about emo stuff all the time (according to you)

have you ever wondered how things can change when you are in passivity? when the more you dont do anything but soaking them all in will result in radicality of mutated forms. i think the word i can use here is conformity when there is a social stigma to stick together and not be different, that results in the disillusionment and the desensitisation of the human faith and feelings.

because of the two H1 paper that had driven me to a new mugging mode, where there's so much to remember and so much to experience and when the past has led to a classic impact on the future and especially the present now, things in the social circle for me is turning to a bad state. i know you told me once before, and i guessed i have told myself many times before, that its not worth it if conformity leads to a less than ideal outcome of fellowships and bondings, and one's own belief must still be the centre of all decisions, yet it seems there's a direct relationship to the word loneliness. all i know now is that i still have you guys there where i can place my embrace into, if not physical then psychological, the people that are in small pockets of my everyday life. the only irony is that they were the people i thought i was conforming to then, some of them at least. for you all who still matters, for you all whom i still could develop any emotions too, i hope it will propel further into my life forever, that it will stay there forever in my heart.

i remembered blogging about relationship being personal rather than group, but maybe i am the only poor soul who sought to think otherwise, with adverse effects of course. if its not working for me, i hope at least i have not destroyed my own concept of life. till then, academics will have to suffice, and for you all that are still around, i will cherish, without a doubt.

this is to you too, my best friend. for whatever happens, i am there as much as you were once there for me. for i remembered you raising a point that i should move forward when i had a breakdown then and stop relying on you. and i disliked it one bit then. but guys are guys, and the absence of emotions will be the strength of our relationship. i am glad that you are able to stand up again without my prior notice. but whatever happens, i will still be there, not just a phone call away, because i hope i will never have to be away from you.