i looked at the heading of my blog.

and i couldnt help but laugh.

how loyal i was last time. how hyped i was back then, belonging to the institution called St. Joseph Institution. that was sec2 if i remembered correctly.

and if i remembered correctly, i am still pretty hyped up about SJI.

of course, flashbacks of SJI are all still etched deeply in my mind. those happy moments, those sad moments. its beyond words how much i had grown there. and i believe everyone felt that exact same feeling about their old alma mater. there's just so much stories and experiences. and they are gonna last a lifetime.

i looked at the centennial video of sji ncc.

i glimpsed some pictures of me inside. when i was a cadet, when i was in the guard-of-honour contingent, when i was csm. and mr lui doing a speech just makes me smile.

why do people bother to create a video as a tribute to the 100years of establishment.
because i believe i would do it too. every cadet involved had 4years to it. only. and somehow its just special. that its sji ncc land. and air. of course, to others who never experience it, it wont mean anything to them. fair enough. but i am sure, to each his own, there's something that you so wish to contine belonging in. that you had belonged and you feel that pride. that honour of being just a part of it. something that gave you a part of the definition of your life.

and then i heard things are not too good for sji ncc land now. its flame is slowly burning away. that passion and that love is absent from the current cadets. something is missing. there's something lost.

and then i decided. my passion is not gone yet. and for this particular organisation, this particular school to have enable me. i seriously want it to continue enabling others too. i may not mean much, but to see an old boy come back to be part of their experiences. i am sure it will give them a slight boost of adrenaline. a slight revival of what's lost. air got their clts, even godwin is one. land has none. and i am not a clt. but i am a josephian, and a cadet. an ex-csm.

it wouldnt only be me. because i know many are still passionate. and if i would just inspire them all to come back. i am sure, you lovely cadets, will feel how i felt then. when there's so many old boys and when the "sji ncc land" was spoken, you felt that gush. a gush of affirmation. a gush of sweetness.

so here i pledge my allegiance again. an allegiance i pledge to four years ago. let the flag fly up high once more. and let the josephians feel how i felt years ago. this time with me trying hard. no more as a csm. but a mere old boy. its not about me now, its about you all. :)

i looked at the entries i typed during my days in SJI. the letter i wrote to the future csms. i smiled. its all so cute. and i am getting old.