napfa gold. awesome!!

i remembered how many times i had to retake my 2.4 just to get a "c" grade to finally get a gold. especially when the other 5 stations are all well-done. i remembered how in sji, i had to run again and again, alone. once in a while, friends will pace me. but that whole affair, was empty, was mundane.

this time, the deal's tougher. the 5stations and the 2.4 must be done within two weeks. and today was the only day possible. and today is bloody hot! looking at the track, i already given up. all of us were cursing.

then i ran 1 round to warm up. to warm up mentally. 1 round is just like tht. times 7 only. 7! wtf. throughout the run, i nearly gave up 3times. nearly vomited 2times. nearly died once. it was hell. racing agains time was never my forte. i prefer to do my best without time as a determinant.

11.54. it wasnt an awesome grade. but its a C! and its the first time i reach a 11min mark. and what was left was all the mental strength i could have mustered. the little bits of it. millions things when through my mind. so many things, they all pushed me forward. i didnt want to give up because of them. i remembered one thing i constantly told myself.

"keep smiling. enjoy this run."
"keep smiling. be strong."

i did my best. and to know that i started off criticizing it. i should have known better. to hang on in life. no matter how things suck. no matter how obstacles are in the way, we must face them. we must be strong. in the end, we must enjoy what we do.

i cant be like this forever. its time i do what i do best. and that's to hold on. even if its forever. :)