failure. success. love. friends. heart. mind. anxiety. morals. confusion. feelings. courage. fear. confidence. anticipation. human nature. life.

just a little less than an hour, we covered this much. more like i was crapping through everything. haha. you got me thinking about myself too. thank you.

you said what's the point now, when everything's so confused and in the end you will only disappoint yourself. you said you are tired of failing again and again. demoralising. you said you are being pulled apart by both the heart and the brain. and it easier said than done to think guiltily about whether it will be a success or a failure or its purely one-sided.

almost everyone felt like this before. unable to express, unable to move, temporarily paralysed because you reach a point when you can only wait. for the others. for the other. life's about the others anyway.all kind of feelings developed never because of solidarity. you will only be hollow inside without people around.

and so i said. its the same for everything. we can never put our hopes too high that we might ultimately fall. and fall hard. naturally, our instinct will force us not to gamble too much. but we all have feelings too, and its difficult to let your mind take over your heart, esp when its something you want, something you believe will last forever. open your mind to it, you dont have to say its easier say than done. because you dont even have to do anything about it. if you follow what your heart tells you, its that much sweeter.

and you said that i was the first person to tell you that. seems everyone tries to be "politically" correct. we all do. its always that much safer.

we go on about the heart and the brain. i believe that the heart still governs the brain. morals, decisions, especially more if about love, that its how we feel that truly decides our course of actions. its like we will go through all the confusion, anxiety, headaches, heartaches. and in the end, subconsciously, you will go with your heart that's affirmed by the brain and you tell yourself time will determine everything.

even when we chose to study, its the doings of the heart. and the heart is for the people around us whom we love.

then i said. i know the feeling of wanting and receiving it back. because i am feeling the feeling of wanting "back" and receiving it back "again".

you said you wondered why i even have problems when i know all the perfect solution to all problems. that made me smile. but i know no perfect solution at all. because i didnt even give any solution. no solution, just my feelings yet again.

but when you said its in me to portray these words. to enable someone else. to make someone else alittle happier. that made my day. i was thinking to myself, i had it worse. and i am still desperately searching for the way up. but i still can be here for someone else. its all painful guys, but we are in this. together.