my life as an art student.. ended jus like tht. no more canvas, no more paintbrushes, or rather paintbrushes to wash.. no more paints on my clothes, no more stayin back on tuesdays and be merry bout it.. no more slackin in the art studio usin my handphone. i went into e art studio be4 she came & i noe its jus nt right when i had to catch some sleep, when my whole soul was goin rockbottom even though its art.. i jus knew i had more pressing issues to settle, judgin by tht fatigue so obviously displayed.. i didn noe how i did it, how i started thinkin bout quitting, i jus went thr and told mrs tan bout how i felt.. nxt thing i knew, i packed my bag and left the art studio with e 5 art students left..

i knew it would be better for me, nt havin to stay back on tuesday, not havin to brainstorm for 2 or 3 months for some futile ideas and then do e actual painting.. i know i will definitely hav a higher chance of screwing up my o's.. and lookin at how things goes now, i will have to drop.. i reflected.. asked myself several times.. i didn lose my passion for art.. i mean who would "not like" art.. its jus tht it might be at the wrong time tht i am involved with it.. the style's totally different from lower sec too.. no more crappin and doin new, hands-on things and be happy bout it.. its pretty dead with all the researches and plannings to do now. furthermore, thr'snt any input now.. its u and ur canvas and mrs tan's comments.. the enjoyment's jus not thr anymore.. i chose to do art in e very beginning coz i might learn something.. i did.. at least i moved up from whr it all started last time.. and i will continue explore at my own time, own leisure.. its jus nt e right time now with all the other demanding commitments along the way..

i really wanna thank mrs tan, for imparting in me so many new stuffs.. she had been thr for me since day 1 in art.. and i really did learn so many ways of expressing myself.. i hope u understand too, the position i am at now.. needa apologise, jus leaving like tht, jus meant something bout me. but i will promise myself and mayb her too, tht i will put in e spirit to my other commitments and subjects.. its really time to get it going again, no matter how lagged behind i am right now.. no matter how many hw still left undone.. how little sleep i am gettin everyday..

it gave me one more reason to put myself more into ncc too.. somehow i can feel i am workin towards it too.. and mayb its because of tht tht i am laggin in my studies too.. i really need some time off. right now, even if its jus 2 weeks.. i needa get things right.. before things go out of hand.

i will believe in wad i have chosen, and nv regret. it might be rushed, bt i know it will do me alittle good.. at least i hav one thing out of e million things off my head now. hang in thr alittle longer kc.