tht little catch-phrase, little bt powerful, was on my msn nick for quite some time.. i didnt wanna change, its really kinda meaningful. xd and i were tokin bout leadership & e stresses attached to it. you cant run away from them the moment u chose to want to be the student leader of ur cca. it was in december when i put up this nick.. it jus meant tht when u are in the "top" position, u get to see all the loose ends, all the messed up stuff, all the administration & logistics clogged up & u gt to be the one making ends meet.. i felt it tht way, like so many of us in sch, when u were jus a cadet, when we were jus juniors, how easy life can be.. either u attend or not, tht's when u can put in ur best.. well now, u HAVE to attend, then u gonna put in your best, & then having to motivate others to attend as well..and definitely etc etc.

then 1st training 2006 came be4 i could even change my nick.. the same old crazy administration, the same old runinng up and down to get everything in order.. as usual, parade's a little late than usual.. well, mr low stood up on e 2nd floor, lookin towards the parade square, he called me up.. in my no.4, i had to run again, when can this bloody end.. up thr, first thing he did, pointed towards his clock, then towards e parade square.. okay, needa explain again..then he stopped me, and shouted.. i couldnt rmb how, bt he started tokin bout how messy all e cadets were.. and how everyone's moving like nobody's business, esp. the seniors, when they are supposed to be ready for e parade.. that was when i really saw, at the top, on e second floor, down onto the parade square.. tht whole bunch of people in green, they all belonged to me, wadever i do, it matters to all of them, esp. the layout, the aftermath.. the many small things i could do, to make everything run smoothly.. its like, i run this company, this corps, wadever the outcome, its the reflection of me too.. tht msn nick, really made sense then.. it's jus like some prophecy of some sorts.

then couple of days ago, it was campfire night.. i got the hang of trainings already, and finally know how to control my emotions and making the trainings acceptable for others.. jus e third training, things gettin smoother.. after training, i met up with yl.. didn hav duty, no more psfs anyway.. so we went to take a look, support too. its a sji event anyway, it matters alot to a certain extent.. the fires blazed through from e top & came together in the middle.. the campfire was on.. it was when yl and i decided to see everything from up above.. sji songs were sung.. campfire songs were sung, sec 1 items were done fantastically.. and it was then tht i saw, tht green-white combination of the sec 1s in pe attire & the psls in their green tee and white slacks.. clappin and cheerin in unison.. the smiles on everyone faces brighter than the campfire itself, and the parents noddin their head in agreement.. now at the top, its nt ugly anymore.. its beautiful.. yl told me. definitely. i smiled to him.

its like my trainings now, its gettin more beautiful every day.. when i finally know wad's required and when i finally understand the true magnitude of my existence, and the strength tht i needa muster to bring about a beautiful outcome, a near-perfect ending. and its e small decision tht i make everyday, together with tht support from my buddies, plus a tinge of enthusiasm, knowin tht e fire will keep burning till i passed over to e nxt leader, tht i will see to it , tht on top, i want to see a beautiful reflection of me.

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