few more days to another year, year 2006.. this coming year seems extraordinarily unique to me, wad's gonna happen in tht comin year are mostly if not all inputted into my mind somehow.. its like i know wad's gonna happen & somehow i think its gonna be real short. upcomin company camp, celebrations for centennial ncc.. the time i hafta step down, the concerts we gonna hav.. then e prelims and the much awaited o's. of course, we know wad's coming, but the actual experience will hav to come with time, and i really cant wait somehow to be back in sji again.

the many previous years, i think i didn really care so much bout the nxt year, its jus another year yea, its still life all the same.. like from sec 2 to sec 3, all i cared was wad friends i am gonna make.. or "i am gonna wear long pants!" well, all this thing hav to settle down and more impt things hav to take over. tht 3 years in sji definitely wasnt wasted, they are all tied in together, and prepares me mentally for e fourth year. is it better to wonder bout the nxt year, or leave the unknown alone till we finally reach it.. thr's always the two side thing, but neither are right or wrong.. lots of things dun hav model answers.. i will take e chance, knowing wad's coming might b useful in the end, even if it makes me so tense right from e start..

all this thing kept bashin thru my head, why? it didn jus came out from my head, its usually influence from others yea.. if not, i will be still thinking "wad time i should be wakin up first day of school".. from the very beginning of sec sch life, parents and everyone gone thru sec sch would tell u how damn impt it is, and i would take them for granted after e first few days of sec sch life.. coz "u know better since u hav tht experience now too". i think many students were like tht too, i hope.. haha.. then till e very last mins everyone panics, tht's human instinct.. its not right or wrong.. for me, jovian started tokin to me in msn.. first thing he asked me, "are u prepared for next year?" and wad's after made me feel really worried.. isit really tht difficult.. only they know, and hearing it from my ex-csm, its like direct assault.. i might freak out and die, i might lose my post and sulk, i might hide like a tortoise,or i might stand up and whack everythin in my way like some hero.. now i know, its not easy preparing urself and knowing wad's coming.. its not all bout tht, cos tht's only knowing half e battle.. anything can happen, and tht's life.. wad's surprises and shocks if u know wad's coming.. would ur life be exciting.. it will be dead boring, knowin everythin tht's coming.. its for us to get the feel of success & failure left alone.. can we control fate, or should we accept fate? or isn't everything tht come by fate? so wad's conclusion here, mayb some things r for us to know, while some things r for us to feel..